A Revert Living with Complex Trauma, Slowly Coming Home to Herself
From constantly reliving the past and feeling “too much for therapists” to finally feeling safer in her body, calmer in her mind, and more grounded in her faith.
Sumayyah is a Muslim revert in her early 50s. On paper, she looks resilient: different careers, reinventions, people seeing her as capable and strong.
Inside, she’d spent decades living with complex trauma – CPTSD, emotional flashbacks, a highly wired nervous system, insomnia, physical symptoms, and a deep belief that she was “too much” for the world.
This is how trauma-informed, somatic and faith-rooted coaching helped her slowly move from living inside her past to finally feeling more present, more whole, and more herself.
Opened up emotionally after years of shutting down and hiding
Stopped seeing herself as “crazy” or “too much”
Began to feel lighter, understood, and genuinely hopeful about healing
Raised in a strict Christian home with toxic family dynamics.
Several careers, always overachieving and “high functioning”.
Toxic relationships and damaging experiences added to complex trauma.
What She Was Struggling With
CPTSD and emotional flashbacks – constantly pulled back into the past.
Hyper-vigilance, anxiety, insomnia, chronic tension and pain.
A constantly overloaded nervous system stuck in survival mode.
Deep mistrust of people and the world.
Brutal inner critic: “I’m broken beyond repair. I’m too much for anyone to help.”
What She Wanted
To stop reliving her past every day.
To befriend her nervous system.
To feel safer in her own body and mind.
To find a way of healing that honoured her Islam instead of shaming her.
To feel like a real person again, not just “a trauma case who reverted”.
A Childhood Built on Fear – and Religious Conditioning That Didn’t Help
Sumayyah didn’t grow up Muslim. She was raised in a strict Christian home in a conservative town, where religion was used as much to control as to comfort.
Home was volatile:
Toxic family dynamics were normal
Emotional abuse: shaming, blaming, mocking, and silent treatment
Physical abuse, including severe “discipline” that left lasting scars
As a child, she learned to:
Scan every room for danger
Shape-shift into whatever kept the peace
Disconnect from her own feelings because they always caused trouble
Her nervous system grew around chronic fear like a tree growing around barbed wire.
When she later reverted to Islam, she carried all of this complex trauma into her new life: the fear, the unworthiness, and the sense that Allah was just another harsh authority waiting to punish her.
“Too Much for Therapy?” – When the Usual Routes Didn’t Work
By the time she reached out, Sumayyah had been trying to “fix herself” for decades.
She had
Tried several therapists
Read countless self-help and trauma books
Used medication and other numbing strategies to cope
Some therapy helped her understand patterns. But nothing changed how her body felt:
She was still constantly reliving the past
Her nervous system stayed on red alert
Sleep was a battleground
Her body kept the score with chronic symptoms
Worse, a few professionals more or less backed away:
“I don’t think there’s much more I can do.”
“Maybe this is just how things are for you.”
Every time she got the message that she was too much for therapists, the belief got stronger:
“Even the professionals can’t handle me. I really am too much. I really am alone.”
She wanted something different – trauma-informed coaching for Muslim women that took her nervous system and her faith seriously.
How We Worked Together – Somatic, Trauma-Informed and Faith-Rooted
From our very first session, the work wasn’t about “fixing” her. It was about safety, dignity, and slow reconnection.
We focused on:
1. Staying power instead of backing away
She tested me session after session with more of the messy, non-linear parts of her story. I made it clear: I wasn’t afraid of her intensity or her history.
“This one isn’t flinching. She’s still here.”
Just that experience alone started to loosen the belief that she was “too much for the world”.
2. Nervous system and somatic work first
Instead of diving straight into trauma content (like she often had in non-trauma-informed therapy), we started with her nervous system:
Learning how to come down from activation without shaming herself
We reframed her reactions as evidence of survival – not weakness or sin.
3. Gentle, titrated work with buried memories
For years, she’d only had two modes: run from the memories or drown in them. Together, using faith-rooted coaching, we practised a third way:
Touching memories slowly, in brief doses
Staying anchored in the present
Letting the body respond in manageable waves, then stepping back
Over time, the same memories that used to hijack her became memories she could remember without being swallowed.
A Glimpse Inside One Session – When the Walls Between “Rooms” Fell
In one of our sessions, we worked with an inner image she’d carried for years: three separate “rooms” in her mind where different memories were locked away behind black, red, and white doors.
Until then, the black room was too terrifying to go near.
That day, we created as much physical and emotional safety as possible — we sat together on the floor, her back against the wall, facing the door so she could see anyone coming in, with my hands firmly holding hers crossed over her chest so she could feel I was right there with her.
When she finally stepped through the black door in her mind, she found her 6-year-old self and the overwhelming fear and helplessness stored there, connected to severe childhood beatings from her stepfather.
Instead of her inner child reliving it alone, we invited in another part of her — the strong, empowered self she had recently discovered behind the red door, a version of her that felt bigger, resourced, and no longer helpless. In her inner world, this empowered part stepped in, stood between the child and the abuser, and defended her.
I urged and supported her to do and say exactly what was needed for that 6-year-old to finally feel safe and protected like never before.
As this unfolded, something remarkable happened inside her: the walls between the rooms collapsed. What had once been three separate, tightly controlled compartments became one ample, bright, open white space — no longer a maze of locked doors, but a single space ready to be furnished with something new.
Later, she told me this was one of the moments her system really started to believe:
“I’m not too much. I’m not alone in this anymore.”
From Living in the Past to Finally Feeling More Present
This wasn’t a fairy-tale ending. Complex trauma doesn’t vanish.
But what changed for Sumayyah was tangible and measurable.
Inside:
She no longer lived permanently in the past. Flashbacks became memories she could hold without being swallowed.
Her nervous system was still sensitive, but no longer stuck on red alert.
Sleep slowly improved. Not perfect, but far less war zone and far more actual rest.
Some of the chronic physical tension and pain eased as her body stopped bracing 24/7.
Her inner voice softened from “you’re broken beyond repair” to “You’re deeply wounded and slowly healing. You are not hopeless.”
Outside:
Within just six weeks of sessions, people around her noticed the difference and began to ask:
“What’s changed?”
“You look different – more relaxed somehow.”
“There’s something lighter about you lately.”
Her face, posture, and energy changed. She occupied space differently: calmer, more grounded, more here.
If you see yourself in Sumayyah’sstory…
You don’t have to have the same story as Sumayyah to recognise yourself in her:
Feeling like you’re “too much” for people or professionals
Living with a constantly overloaded nervous system
A past that doesn’t stay in the past
A complicated relationship with faith and worthiness
✔
If parts of her journey feel uncomfortably familiar and you’re longing for a safe, slow, faith-conscious way to heal.
✔
If you’re curious whether trauma informed coaching for Muslim women could support you, I invite you to book a short Clarity Call.
We’ll explore:
What your nervous system and story are actually carrying
Whether trauma-informed, somatic, Islamically grounded coaching is a fit for you
What gentle, realistic next steps could look like
No pressure. Just a grounded conversation about where you are and what you need.
