A gentle Sunnah fasting reset for women healing after PLR and emotional chaos

If you’re healing from a pathological love relationship (PLR), manipulation, or emotionally chaotic dynamics, you may recognise this pattern:

You became excellent at managing everyone else.
Their moods. Their needs. Their reactions. Their comfort.

And slowly—quietly—you disappeared from your own life.

So when we talk about “starting the year strong,” I’m not interested in pressure, hustle, or loud reinvention.

I’m interested in something far more radical for a PLR survivor:

Self-care.

Not as a trend. Not as pampering.
But as a form of ‘ibadah—a return to Allah through returning to yourself.

Because you cannot build a life of barakah while abandoning your nervous system, your body, and your boundaries.

If you’re looking for pathological love relationship recovery support that’s trauma-informed and faith-aligned, you can start here: pathological love relationship recovery support.

Why self-care must be the starting point for PLR survivors

PLR survivors often struggle with:

• people-pleasing and over-functioning
• hypervigilance (“What will she think? What will he do?”)
• guilt when resting
• confusion about their own needs
• emotional hunger that shows up as scrolling, overthinking, or chasing reassurance

This isn’t “weakness.” It’s what happens when your system learned that love equals performance—and safety depends on staying useful.

So starting the year with self-care isn’t soft.

It’s strategic.
It’s protective.
And it’s deeply aligned with Islam: you’re treating your amanah—your body, mind, and heart—with dignity.

Self-care as worship: the intention matters

Here’s the shift I want for you this year:

Instead of:

“I need to fix myself.”

Try:

“I want to return to Allah with a heart that isn’t constantly bracing.”

Self-care becomes worship when it’s done with intention:

• resting so you can pray with presence
• eating and sleeping in a way that supports steadiness
• creating boundaries that protect your deen and your peace
• reducing noise so you can hear your fitrah again

This is not self-centred.
This is self-responsibility, which is part of taqwa.

A simple self-care practice to start the year: Sunnah fasting

One of the most grounded, practical ways to start the year with self-care (as worship) is Sunnah fasting.

Not as a “detox challenge.”
But as a gentle container for returning.

Two Sunnah options you can choose from

1. Fasting Mondays and Thursdays

A regular Sunnah rhythm that creates a steady weekly reset.

2. Fasting the White Days (Ayyām al-Bīḍ)

The 13th, 14th, and 15th of every lunar month—an easy monthly reset once it becomes familiar.

Note: Hijri dates can vary slightly by location due to moon-sighting, so always check your local calendar.

When it becomes extra beautiful

Some months, the White Days land next to a Monday/Thursday, and you get a natural multi-day “reset window.”
But even one day counts. Especially if you do it with a clear intention and a gentle plan.

Would you like my 5-day fasting self-care guide? Comment “RESET” below, and I’ll send it

Why fasting works so well for PLR survivors (trauma-informed, not fluffy)

If you’ve lived in emotional chaos, your nervous system learned urgency:

• fix it now
• explain now
• reply now
• check now
• prove yourself now

Fasting supports self-care because it trains restraint without panic.

It’s a practice of:

“I can feel an urge… and I don’t have to obey it.”

That one skill carries into PLR recovery:

• not responding from dysregulation
• not chasing closure
• not checking their profile
• not over-explaining
• not negotiating your boundaries when you feel lonely

Fasting isn’t only about food.
It’s also about stepping out of reactivity.

This is the foundation of the S.E.R.E.N.E. Method™ — stabilising the nervous system so faith and clarity become accessible again.

The “Start the Year” intention (keep it human, not performative)

If you start the year with just one intention, let it be this:

“Ya Allah, help me return to You with steadiness—and help me stop abandoning myself.”

That’s it.

No grand promises.
No pressure.
No perfection.

Just a return.

A gentle fasting plan that counts as real self-care

If you’re fasting (Mon/Thu, White Days, or both), here’s the simplest trauma-informed structure:

Small. Repeatable. Powerful.

When cravings hit, do this instead (30 seconds)

Sometimes the craving isn’t food. It’s emotional relief.

When you feel the urge to:

• message them
• check their profile
• re-read old chats
• argue in your head
• prove your point

Try this:

1. hand on chest
2. exhale longer than inhale
3. whisper: HasbiyAllahu la ilaha illa Huwa
4. ask: “What do I actually need right now—safety, reassurance, validation, or rest?”

That is self-care as worship: choosing Allah over reactivity.

If fasting isn’t possible right now (still do the reset)

If you can’t fast due to health, medication, pregnancy, breastfeeding, or personal history—please don’t force it.

You can still do a faith-aligned reset by fasting from one thing:

• social media
• contact/checking
• complaint/rumination
• people-pleasing
• over-explaining

Same intention: less noise, more Allah, more steadiness.

The point of starting the year like this

This isn’t a New Year’s resolution.

It’s a new relationship with yourself:

• I don’t abandon myself to keep people comfortable
• I don’t sacrifice my nervous system for “love”
• I return to Allah from a regulated, steady place
• I build barakah through repeated, quiet choices

Sunnah fasting is one such choice.

FAQ: Sunnah Fasting, Self-Care, and Emotional Recovery

Q1. Is self-care considered worship in Islam?

Self-care can be an act of worship when it’s done with the intention to protect your amanah (body, mind, heart), strengthen your prayer presence, and reduce what pulls you away from Allah.

Q2. What are the White Days in Islam?

The White Days are the 13th, 14th, and 15th of the lunar month, often chosen for Sunnah fasting.

Q3. What is the Sunnah fasting schedule?

A widely practised Sunnah rhythm is fasting on Mondays and Thursdays, plus the White Days for a monthly reset.

Q4. Can fasting help emotional regulation and nervous system recovery?

Fasting can support emotional steadiness by reducing impulsive coping and creating a simple structure for the day. It is not a substitute for professional care when medical or mental health support is needed.

Q5. Should PLR survivors fast if they feel emotionally unstable?

Only if it feels safe. If fasting worsens anxiety, dizziness, emotional flooding, or triggers disordered patterns, use Islamic concessions and choose an alternative “fast” (like a digital fast or boundary fast).

Q6. What’s a good alternative if I can’t fast?

Choose one thing to “fast” from for the day: checking their profile, rumination, over-explaining, people-pleasing, or doom-scrolling—paired with dhikr and gentleness.